How Educators Can Teach Kids to Be Better People
PART II of II
Dear Kid Whisperer,
I am the principal of a private, secular, K-8 school. Every year that I have been principal, the behaviors start out fine in the fall, and slowly deteriorate after that, no matter how hard we work at it. They are particularly bad in our middle school. Some of our programming involves having class meetings when students cause major problems and figuring out what the student should do to make amends. As the behaviors get worse and worse, we have to talk more and more about behavior. This is an especially bad dynamic since our parents have extremely high expectations (as they should) for their children’s academic success, and we have less and less time to teach. As the school leader, what can I do to improve behavior at my school?
In Part I, I described the probable dynamics at your private school that would likely make it difficult to switch from warm-fuzzy methods that involve taking class time for dealing with behaviors to, instead, using a helpful comprehensive way of working with kids that will allow you to create the environment you’re searching for.
Here in part two, as promised, I’ll give you a snapshot of how I might do this in one of your 8th grade classrooms:
Kid Whisperer sees that Kid #14 is invading the personal space of Kid #5.
Kid Whisperer: I noticed Kid #3 is keeping her hands to herself.
Kid #14 continues to harass Kid #5.
Kid #5: Stop.
Kid Whisperer makes eye contact with Kid #14, looks confused and shakes his head very quickly (as if to say “Dude, you’re better than this. Cut it out.”) and continues to teach. Kid #14 stops the behavior briefly, but then continues to invade space of Kid #5, and now touches her arm.
Kid Whisperer (calmly walks up behind Kid #14, and whispers so that only Kid #14 can hear) Yikes. This is tough. I’ll help you to do some learning later. Could you sit over here on either this chair or this chair? Thanks.
Kid #14: But I didn’t do anything!!!
Kid Whisperer: Yikes. I don’t argue. (Kid Whisperer gestures to the chairs as he walks away and keeps teaching)
Kid #14 (as he moves to the alternative seat) Whatever.
Later, Kid Whisperer is able to require the student to do some learning about respecting personal space and respecting limits about a person’s personal space. Since he delayed the teaching about this important behavior, he has all means at his disposal, and he has the time necessary to use these means. He has the time to consult parents, counselors, and administrators. He could learn about the local laws on harassment. He could talk to a writing teacher to learn about Kid #14’s writing abilities.
All of this may be necessary to create the optimal lesson about this behavior that will have to take place over an extended period of non-instructional time. This is a time for Kid #14 to solve the problem that he caused for Kid #5.
Before having the student solve the problem that he caused, Kid Whisperer may have him do a written research project on why physically harassing someone is a problem in the first place. Since he took the time to research local laws, and since he consulted Kid’s writing teacher, he’s more prepared to help Kid with his 10-page, footnoted report.
Once this report is completed to Kid Whisperer’s satisfaction (he may borrow a rubric from the writing teacher), Kid #14 can come up with a written plan on how he will make Kid #5 feel safe in school. These means could include Kid #14 staying away from Kid #5 for a period of time, and/or Kid #5 making amends, and/or Kid #5 sharing an oral report detailing the findings of his written one. Until this important work is done, Kid #14 may have to be separated from the wronged party.
Do you see how doing the Learning Opportunity this way accomplishes everything that the “Untelevised Oprah Winfrey Shows” that you all are currently hosting now hopes to accomplish without stopping instruction and without giving the worst-behaved kids in your school the most control and the most attention?
I do hope that you are able to turn this corner and start using more effective means of making kids better people!