Kid Whisperer Nation Teacher Tips #186-190
Kid Whisperer Nation Teacher Tip #186
STRIVE TO BE AUTHENTIC, NOT THE SAME
You don’t need kids to identify you as someone who is just like, or nearly like them. Trying to pretend that you like things that you don’t like, or using words that you really don’t use won’t help you to build relationships with kids. Your students will know that you are not being authentic.
Kids don’t want you to be like them anyway.
Instead of trying to be like them, just concentrate on being you. Take time to show who you are. Talk about your family, your upbringing, and what you like and what you are passionate about. Kids want to know about you and who you actually are. This will allow students to bond with you because of the common humanity that you both share.
Be as authentically human as you can be instead of trying to be the same.
Kid Whisperer Nation Teacher Tip #187
TRAIN YOUR STUDENTS BEFORE THEY TRAIN YOU
Someone’s behavior is always being shaped. Make sure you are shaping the behavior of your students instead of them shaping your behavior. Here’s the best and most efficient strategy to make this happen.
Notice their positive behavior over and over again. It isn’t praise and it’s not “liking” what students do. It’s just this:
“I noticed [enter positive behavior here].”
This will give kids attention on your terms so that they don’t try to take it on theirs. Often when kids try to get attention on their terms, it’s through negative behaviors, which may cause educators to show anger and/or emotion, which then reinforces the negative behavior, which can cause a never ending cycle of negative behaviors from kids and anger from adults.
Kid Whisperer Nation Teacher Tip #188
USE “BEHIND THE BACK” NOTICING
Noticing positive behaviors reinforces those behaviors:
“I noticed that Da’Marion is working hard.”
Doing so without looking at a student reinforces positive behaviors AND makes it look like the teacher has eyes in the back of her head and suggests that she may be omniscient, making it less likely that students will try to sneak negative behaviors past her.
Kid Whisperer Nation Teacher Tip #189
ENGAGE WITH YOUR STUDENTS IN WAYS THAT YOU ENJOY
(AND AVOID THE OTHER WAYS)
The most common way of engaging with students in unpleasant ways is to avoid getting into arguments with them. First, use your Calm Signal. Mine is “Oh, man.” Next tell them how often you argue with this simple phrase: “I don’t argue.” Then, when the attempt at an argument continues, ask a question about the statement you just made: “…And what did I say?”
Kid Whisperer Nation Teacher Tip #190
BEHAVIORS THAT ARE NOTICED ARE REPEATED, EXPLORED, AND HEIGHTENED
What kind of behaviors get noticed most in your classroom: positive or negative? Unless you have had explicit training, the answer is probably “negative.” This isn’t your fault. Negative behaviors are promptive: they will usually prompt a response from an adult when they are observed: “sit down” or “stop talking,” for example. The problem is that a vast majority of positive behaviors are not promptive: A student walks in the hallway or quietly takes a test: those behaviors are almost always ignored. Noticing these positive behaviors will not only make them more likely to occur in the future, it will make similar and even better behaviors more likely to occur as well.
Here are the magic words:
“I noticed (positive student behavior here).”