Kid Whisperer Nation Tips for Parents #26-30
Tip for Parents #26
MAKE YOUR KID A SUPERHERO
(COMPARED TO MOST OTHER KIDS)
Let’s face it, folks. The bar for what constitutes a responsible, pleasant adult has, shall we say, dropped a bit since the Greatest Generation rebuilt our country from the Great Depression and saved us all from the Axis Powers.
I teach some pretty involved means of how to train kids to use positive, pro-social behaviors so that they will be happy, healthy, pro-social people in the long term. In light of the fact that kids are growing up in a society that allows kids to become zombie-fied by screens and does not place value on holding kids accountable, here’s a short-hand, grossly simplified process that will make your kids appear to have (relative to others) SUPERHUMAN ABILITIES to pay attention, work hard, follow the directions of their teachers and bosses, and basically act like good people:
1) Never let them do things that cause problems for others.
2) Never let them have more than thirty minutes of screen time per day, on average.
Tip for Parents #27
ALLOW YOUR KIDS TO FAIL
Allow your kids to fail academically when they are young. No one will ever see or care about your kid’s 3rd grade second quarter science grade. Allow them to experiment with laziness and irresponsibility early so they can feel the sting of failure early, so that when it counts (when colleges can see their high school grades), they know how to succeed.
Tip for Parents #28
PUT THE FORGOTTEN HOMEWORK DOWN
When your kid forgets their homework at home, leave it alone. Don’t deliver it to your kid. Will your kid’s grade be affected? Yep. Is that good? Absolutely. Will your kid learn something about the world and the level of responsibility necessary to be successful in it? You bet.
What’s more important: to learn that in order to be successful, you must be responsible, or to earn a point in your homework grade for eighth grade math?
Stop saving your kids from their own irresponsibility, and they will become more responsible.
Tip for Parents #29
ALLOW YOUR KIDS TO LIVE A STORY
As human beings, we are drawn to stories. A story has a problem or, more often, problems that must be overcome. If it doesn’t have a compelling problem, a story isn’t very interesting.
Would Star Wars be compelling if it were about Luke Skywalker wandering listlessly around Tatooine while The Empire ravaged the galaxy?
Would anyone want to watch Raiders of the Lost Ark if it was about how Indiana Jones’s parents paid for him to travel through South America in order to “find himself” as the Nazis took control of the ark of the covenant?
Is your kid (or anyone else for that matter) going to see his life as compelling if it is carefully curated by his parents?
Life can be a fantastic adventure and a compelling story if it has real challenges, failures, and hardships to overcome. But, for this to be true, kids have to be allowed to have challenges, failures, and hardships!
Without them, kids have less fun, and they will be weaker than they would be if they were allowed to struggle: to become strong enough to take on more struggles and challenges, so by the end of their lives they will have amazing stories worth telling.
Are your kids living a story?
Tip for Parents #30
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO IS FINE
These are magic words that can follow a properly given choice to your kid(s). After you have given two choices, either of which you are OK with, you can add these words, which supercharge a kid’s control need being fulfilled:
You can clear the table now, or any time before we watch the movie. Whatever you want to do is fine.