Kid Whisperer Nation Tips for Parents #31-35
Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #31
DON’T BE A SCHMUCK
Look, parents, if it feels like you are being played by your kids, or if you feel like your kids don’t respect you, or you feel like your rules aren’t really rules because you aren’t enforcing them, go with that feeling. We live in a ridiculous culture, as far as discipline is concerned, and both parents and kids (not to mention teachers) are paying the price.
Take care of yourself first and don’t allow your kids to use behaviors that make you dislike them. Do the work now to set limits and hold your kids accountable. Their short-term unhappiness about being held accountable is not your concern.
Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #32
HAVE MORE FAITH IN YOUR KIDS THAN THEY HAVE IN THEMSELVES
Challenge them to be even more effective than they think they can be. Whether you are working with them on their school work or guiding them to effectively take out the garbage, allow them to struggle past what they think they could actually do. The best result of any activity through which you guide kids is for your kid to think the following:
“I can’t do it…
Now I am doing it…
I did it!
I wonder what else I can do?”
Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #33
BUILD AN EXTRA TEAMMATE
Think about things practically. Life management is hard: keeping a clean house, paying bills, making sure the grass is cut or the snow is shoveled… it can be overwhelming. Keep in mind that your kids should be contributing to the household in any and all reasonable ways that they are physically able.
Doing chores to make the house functional helps kids feel ownership of their house, family, and life. It builds character, and it shovels the snow SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO!
Five people on a team is more effective than two. Three is better than one. Enlist your kids to help your family be better and more functional. Your kids’ lives should stop until chores are done. Responsibilities come first.
Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #34
TEACH ABOUT LIFE WHEN ALL IS WELL
It’s only natural that parents often tend to try to teach about life at the moment that their kids have behaved in such a way that they appear to need a good long lecture in order to understand how life works. Unfortunately, kids can’t learn anything when they are being lectured because, at that point, they are too busy planning your demise or figuring out how to get back at you for the annoying lecture you are providing them.
You have amassed some wisdom in your life. You should share it with your kids when things are at their calmest. It is during these moments when teaching and learning can occur.
Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #35
SAY THE RULES ONCE PER LIFETIME
Repeatedly stating rules is a bad idea. It implies that you think your kid is not as smart as they actually are. It also tells your kid(s) that they will always get a warning (a reminder about what the rule is) instead of consequence.
Instead, state a rule once, and then either use an intervention or let them know that there will be a consequence happening later.
Instead of, “The rule is to hang up your coat!” use a statement of fact intervention:
“Your coat’s on the floor.”
Or, if your kid has received more than enough interventions already,
“Oh, jeepers. There’s a coat on the floor. I’m going to be doing something about this. Don’t let it ruin your day.”