Kid Whisperer Nation Tips for Parents #73-77
Tip for Parents #73
RELAX. THEY WILL WALK IT OFF.
As a parent, you are doing your best. Even still, you will mess up. You will be unkind. You may have moments or when you won’t be as empathetic as you should be. Many parents feel a lot of anxiety that their not-so-great moments will be damaging their kids forever.
While true abusive and chronically neglectful parenting can have this effect, the occasional kindness slippage won’t. They’ll walk it off. Going back and apologizing is always a good idea. The anxiety felt over these lapses is more damaging than the lapse itself.
TIP FOR PARENTS #74
PLAY TO YOUR STRENGTHS
If you are fortunate enough to be part of a two-parent household, remember that you don’t have to be all things to your kid(s) at all times. Being a Superhero Parent isn’t generally possible and it isn’t necessary. You may spend more time being your kids’ confidant, while your spouse may spend more time cleaning the house. Your spouse may be the one who helps with homework more often (perhaps because they can somehow understand Common Core math), but you may be the one they go to when they need advice on which college to apply to. Parenting can be a team sport. Let it be just that.
TIP FOR PARENTS #75
DISQUALIFY YOUR KID(S) WITHOUT HASTE OR REGRET
Your offspring are not entitled to participation in anything besides eating, breathing, love, and education.
They are not entitled to t-ball, use of a car, basketball practice, playing the guitar, going to sleepovers, going on dates, traveling with friends, or going on spring break. They can do these things if they fit in with your value structure and if they are consistently able to use positive behaviors that show that they can do these things while using positive, pro-social behaviors. They will show that they are ready when they use similar behaviors at other times: at the dinner table, at bedtime, in the car, and while playing with siblings. When they fail during these times, supplanting the activities above and those like them with time spent practicing these essential behaviors can be highly effective in guiding your kid(s) to being positive, pro-social humans.
Tip for Parents #76
TAKE GREAT CARE OF YOURSELF
(THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH KIDS)
If you don’t take good care of yourself, you can’t take care of your kids. Here’s one simple way of taking care of yourself that you might want to try:
Try trading off that last hour of your day for the first hour of the next. For some people, you spend the last hour before sleep (because you finally have a moment for yourself) watching TV or checking your social media. Perhaps try to, instead, go to bed an hour early and spend that early morning time doing a thirty-minute workout, or meditating, or reading, or taking a nice, long bath or shower, or do a combination of these. Having this time can improve your physical and mental state every single day for the rest of your life.
Tip for Parents # 77
TAKE GREAT CARE OF YOURSELF
(THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH KIDS)
If you don’t take good care of yourself, you can’t take care of your kids. Here’s one simple way of taking care of yourself that you might want to try:
Work out every morning before anyone else is awake and bothering you. If you take massive physical action every single morning, especially engaging your core and keeping your heart rate elevated for 30 minutes or more, it will have a profoundly positive impact on your mind and body.